I Love Lucy

Scene: Lucy and Ricardo are sitting in Ricardo's basement. On the couch, two spaces away, awkward. Ricardo;s watching the football game.

Ricardo

[jumps up with excitement and yells]

YES! GO GO RUN. SCORE! WITH A TOUCH DOWN!

Lucy
[sits in the corner impatiently contemplating for the right moment]

ummmm...Ri..

[cut off]

Ricardo

Shh..hold on gezz can't it wait?

Lucy
[playing withe the lose ends on a pillow]

well yeah...i mean it could but only for so long so i...well

Ricardo
[frustrated with her constant interuptions]

Damn Lucy you really have no respect for me and what i want do you?

Lucy
[making mocking faces and rolls her eyes]

whateve, you want something to drink?

Ricardo
[looks towards her with a nod]

Lucy
[thinks to herself]

Just tell him...oh my God it's not hard. Just freakin get a hold of yourself and SAY IT! i mean c'mon what's the worst thing that could happen? OH YEAH he could leave me! [frustrated] great now were back at square one.

[ Lucy is still muttering to herself as she re-enters the room]

Ricardo
[looks at her with a stupid look]

What the hell is up with you? I wouldn't talk to you so now you are talking to yourself?

Lucy
[freaks out]

I don't freakin know okay, why is everyone giving me the 3rd degree?

Ricardo
[gauges his eyes]

Dang! what the hell? Are you PMSing or something? Cause it's really annoying go take a freakin midol or whatever you do and get over it cause im not in the mood.

Lucy
[gasps as if disrespected]

WOW! You don't get it do you? Your such a dildo, hard and stubborn. If you knew me at all you would know what was wrong.

Ricardo
[shrugs his shoulders]

Oh my all that is holy. You really are all about the whole element of suprise aren't you. like it would be too hard to just tell me. [huffs] chicks...

Lucy

[livid]

oh right, cause everything has to revolve around you and your penis consumed brain!

Ricardo
[stares at Lucy with disbelief]

That's totally uncalled for. See that thing poking out of your ass? yeah, it's called a stick. Pull it out and lose the attitude. Or....just...go home or something.

Lucy
[stares at him with fire in her eyes and shouts]

ARE YOU SERIOUS! you're really about to make jokes right now?...{silence}...it would be like you to run away from your problems.

[eyes swell with tears and whispers]

i never should have slept with you...

Ricardo
[confused, makes a face of bewilderment]

...what?

Lucy
[shouts]

I said i never should have slept with you!! there, ya happy?

Ricardo
[sits back and ponders]

Are you serious?...well your the one that wanted to. Anyways how does that have anything to do with your crazy mood swings all of a...

Lucy
[blurts out]

I'M PREGNANT!!

[Ricardo's eyes bulged at the word and his jaw drops. He has trouble even remembering to breath. utter shock. Lucy however shows a look of waiting for approval and relief]

Ricardo
[has trouble finding words]

w...um...huh?...well...are you sure?...i mean...damnit Lucy!

Lucy
[appalled]

are you kidding me you act like i got on top of myself and got pregnant!!

[silence]

Ricardo
[quietly]

..how did this happen..?

Lucy
[replies in a snide way]

well...boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. boy and girl get busy. put it in the oven and what have you got? A PREGGO EGGO!

Ricardo

[starts to get upset]

this isn't a time to be funny!...

Lucy
[smiles]

well...since I got myself into this shinanigan, I fugure it's all I really got left.

Ricardo
[scoots over and gives her a hug and kisses her on the forehead]

i will always be here

Lucy
[starts to cry]

Good, cause I'm scared sh**less.

Ricardo
[holding on to Lucy as if it's his only way of holding on to reality and not losing himself in the insanity surrounding him]

I don't know if i ever told you this...but...ugh

Lucy
[Interrupts]

what?

Ricardo
[tries to re-gain his train of thought]

I...well. This is really hard for me to say...so...well here it goes.

Lucy
[look at him attentively hanging on his every word]

it's o.k just try

Ricardo
[hesitant]

I...I...I think I love you

Lucy
[smiles from ear to ear beaming with joy]

...I love you too.

Ricardo
[sigh of relief]

so you don't think it's weird.

Lucy

Oh God no. i mean i think you should [ giggle] I'm your babies momma.

[ the lights go out and move to a different part of the stage. Lights come back on and are focused on Ricardo and Lucy in the basement many years later pointing a a picture they found]

Ricardo
[smiles]

Can you believe how young we were?

Lucy
[reminisce]

i know it still feels like yesterday. Maybe it's because i tell the story better. [smiles]

Ricardo
[wobbles up of the couch and goes in the kitchen and turns to where he carved her name "i love Lucy"]

I'll always be here

Lucy

no you won't i might get a few more years out of you at best. [both giggle, Ricardo leans over and kisses Lucy]

[Jonny (their 6 year old son) runs into the room and jumps on their laps and shows them something he made]



~THE END~